To become what one is capable of being is both a moral obligation and a moral privilege. However, individuals cannot effectively achieve this goal without freeing themselves of those psychological forces that inhibit, control, or distort their thoughts and actions. One of the hardest problems a woman faces is to express openly the difficulties she foresees in her relationships. There is this deep fear that such an expression may mean acknowledging, perpaps, that she made a mistake in her choice of a life partner, or worse still, admitting that she no longer believes in the choice she had made from numerous suitors. At a certain point in time, however, she has to come to grips with reality, muster up a lot of courage, and make a conscious decision as to whether or not she can condone the situation around her without damaging her health and self-esteem. With a growing understanding of the complexity of their situations, women have come to recognize the need of strong, healthly role models to inspire them and give them and the courage to act. But this emotional growth women desire to achieve can only be sustained if societal institutions are restructured to reflect the change of the times. The majority of African men should admit, and consequently try to curb, their tendency to dominate, control, or expect women to take care of domestic concerns while they indulge in infantile behaviors. African women, on the other hand, must struggle to reduce the tendency to give too much and away in love: to abandon their needs, work, and friendships, and assume a care-taking role readily in order to sustain romance. They should look for a relationship where traditional romantic love has been transformed into romantic meeting of partners, so that the women can express herself without restraint and assert her needs without fear of loss of love or home.
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