NIGHTLIGHT(LOVE CONQUERS ALL(3)

He smiled faintly and shook his head at memories of days gone when he had known her. He entered the hut bent double.Chief Ollor walked straight to the earth mould where Alu-ete women and children slept. He sat down on the cold earth Osila Abbey fumbled with th smoky oil-lamp for a while before going to sit by his side.
  "We are happy to see a new dawn", he began.
  "We thank our ancestors for everything," she ventured.
Deep inside of her, she knew that he had got something on his mind, something he wanted to talk about. something worth discussing as they have done so many times before since they entered an age where they become more of guardian and counselors to each other than a mere husband and wife relationship.
  "The farming seaon is at hand and this time around I want to take the Achu ete yam title," he said slowly.\,
Finally it was out. She took in a deep breath and then gently released it. This man is a king.' she thought with pride. This man is walking the path of the life with purpose laced with determination and courage. Was it not said that it was not life that matters but the courage which a man brings into his life.?
She looked up and said, "We will pour libations to our ancestors and the gods for their guardianship."
   "I'll send for the wine right away. Everything shall come to pass by the glory of our ancestors," he told her.
   "I am all with you. I'll inform my daughter, Lalewa. Also,
   "I'll take the honour to search for a young pretty sparrow to warn the bed of one of the greatest chiefs in Alu-ete," She said dulcetly.

LOVE YOUR PET

WEEKEND PICTURE

NIGHTLIGHT(LOVE CONQUERS ALL(2)

There was a time when he was challenged by a mat under the influence of palm wine. Like very Alu-ete son of that time, he had suffered two straight poor harvests that had time, he had wrecked him. sitting with members of his age grade at the burial ceremony of Chief Nkporo, Ntei, a popular drunk in is age grade had said to hm, "You poor wretch, your first wife shall be my next bride and the second my concubine. Your bowl shall be on my table and I shall see what to do with you after feeding my dog.
 Chief Olor did not reply Ntei right away.He simply went on to take two yam titles at a stretch before his challenger put himself together to get one. He went further to give two plots of cassava farm to Ntei's mother, an old woman called Ngesia. some people said Ntei's first wife was seen one morning leaving Chief Ollor's hut just before dawn. Others said it was the second wife. What every one knew without argument was that Ntei apologized to him with drinks before the elders. Chief Ollor then stopped pecking at his age mate's nose.
 Chief Ollor was full. He had taken the yaw titles. He was a one-man forest in Alu-ete. Whoever embarrassed  him must pay a price. Ntei did and paid heavily for it. little wonder then the man stopped drinking and was sober for the rest of his miserable life. it was not known if anybody walked the path Ntei took he surrendered in his own challenge.
Chief Ollor reached the next hut.After a pause, he hailed, "Osila Abbey, my wren, the eagle has come to roost."
 "With songs in my heart I welcome you to the comfort of my rest," came a female voice from within the hut.
 She moved the matt at the door to one to one side so he could come into the hut. For a while he stood looking at her regal profile, the natural carriage, thick arms and mid section that came with age. In this flash of time, he remembered the singer who said, you couldn't really call Osila Abbey beautiful until you ave rally known her.

NIGHTLIGHT(LOVE CONQUERS ALL(1)

The golden glow of the moon rested over the huts of Aluete, a tiny village of the Elemeland nestled in th breasts of the Okulu hills. into the aging night, a thick cloud crept over the golden beauty and gently escorted her to seek refuge behind the hills.
  In one of the littered huts, Chief Ollor sifted on is bamboo bed. it was one of those nightd when slep denied a man the blessings of a goodnight rest. His mind was full, leaving the blessings is head swimming. he was too agitated, drowned in so much thoughts that sleep stayed away. Chief Ollor eard the first cockcrow, followed by the econd crow. He turned over on isbac, is restless eyes tormemting the tiny patches in the thatched roof by the dying low of the moonlight.
  At the third cockcrow, he coul see rays of dawn filtering in through the tiny holes in the thatch roof. e got up, adjusted his loincloth, uny is towel around is neck, put out the burning oil-lamp and pushed aside the matt fastened for door. The man bent forward, quite low before stepping for into the soothing morning breez.
  Chief Ollor was a very tall man, dark, with tick lips, heavy face and broad chest. He was a quiet achiever, never now to have deliberately offended anybody, nor pushed himself into taking offence. He fed his ancestors well when due. He had thrown some goo wrestlers in the arena. He had equally got thrown by others. He was a good husband, father, and a good on of Alu-ete by Eleme standard.

NATURAL GIFTS(2)

There followed a little period of calm as the storm receded. Then a shower of rain returned to claim the land.
  For away, the peaks of taller houses standing on the sides of the hill could be seen. Painful groans of men and beasts laced in a heart breaking shrill of lamenting agony could be heard. they were men afraid of nature's beastly madness and destructive craze. the beasts were frightened by the look on the faces of the men around them.
  It was not yet over. The wind returned in another great gust, crashings through anything still standing. Roofs were sent flying and more houses fell.
  From the distance came a loud bang followed by an uproar of screaming voices. the once peaceful River Okulu had broken her bank. Freed water was rushing into the village, drowning and carying away the people. The very strong ones were making it to the rooftops. soon, some roofs were collapsing and some drowned by the risin water level... ...
   I struggled up in sweat, I thanked God, it was only a dream!

NATURAL GIFTS(1)

The Weather was fair, There were flying birds and dancing hawks in the sky. suddenly, a fist dark cloud appeared at a coner of the sky. it began to spread, creeping over the bright sky, eating up the sunlight.
  Soon the sky was thickly dark. thunder was in reign, flash after flash and clap after clap. the angry wind rushed through trees an branches, leaves and houses, puncing, pushing and roaring lie a thousand lions.
  Then the rain descended. the drops were like stones. they came heavily on rain descended. the drops were like stones. they came heavily on leaves, trees and rffia thatched roofs. the raindrops came in the manner of hails of angry arrow heads tumbling from the sky.
  For a long time, the rain came down in torrents. The rain came down heavier and angrier than any one living could remember. This was followed by a storm. An angry wind rushed in a gale, angrily pushing down trees full of leaves and fruits, all over the place. the storm raved on, exposed roots could be seen scattered where trees had once stood.
All the wonderful flowers and trees sprinkled in the lustful fields and along the roads were hatched down in a menacing disgust of nature's blind anger.

QUOTE FOR THE EVENING

 Money is like eye lashes,
 Each time you pull out one,
  you drop some little tears.
Still, Love Conquers All Odds...

joke for the evening

THE PUSH AND PULL FACTORS (4)

Our father is not human that He will disappoint us. Just claim these promises with faith and hold unto them; they will surely happen. When He promises,He fulfills. His faithfulness is from age to age. He will light our candles: the Lord our God will enlighten our darkness. If not for His strength, we would not have leaped over the wall of frustration to everlasting freedom, happiness, and peace. The second factor is the "Pull Factor." Here is an example. Faithful men do not allow family pressure to dictate what they would do.God is the best judge there is, and He has good memories. There is never a thought He does not know, neither is there an act that He does not see. He  shares all our pains and replaces them with joy. There is never a cry He does not hear,  neither is there a heart He cannot mend. He will render to each of us according to the way we dealt with others. It's good for things to happen sometimes so one would learn who one's true friends really are.                                     The Push and Pull factors are therefore the major causes of marriage beakups, especially with Nigeria men. The earlier these men took  note of these canker worms that are eating up their system, the better for them and their families. I have observed that no matter how regrettably bad the situation turned Out to be, these deserters cover up to the outside world and pretend that all is roses. Such actions mislead others to fall in the same trap. I am glad that a lot of our men have come to know the plain truth and are learning from the mistakes of the deserters. I sympathize with some other greedy men who will eventually fall into the same trap. It goes on and on, with a lot of them murmuring "had I known" while innocent children suffer in this battle of giant elephants. Alas, nobody is a complete failure. One can be a good example or a horrible warning!

THE PUSH AND PULL FACTORS (3)

The climax of this feelings is arrogance. He starts looking at their marriage as the woman's personal issue; if it  breaks she will lose more, he assumes. At this point nothing that his wife does appears done right. The male-female relationship that was supposed to be a mutually supportive liaison becomes a hero worship. The woman would at this point be holding the relationship tenderly like a raw egg; she is afraid lest it fall and break. The root cause of this attitude, which obviously shows diminishing love, is lack of personal relationship with God. God is love, so if a man knows God, he must love his family and treat them with love. 1John 4:8 puts it this way, "He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." Loving is more than a feeling of being attracted to or happy with someone. It includes choosing to be kind and helpful to others even when one does not feel like it. One other fuel that ignites that push factors is greed. When one's spouse starts thinking that grass is greener elsewhere, one had better start preparing for the great surprise.unproductive ideas can lead a man to fool around outside his home, looking outside for the things that are inside his food shelf.                                                                            I advise the men in this category to look intently before making a commitment; they ought to stop disrupting the lives of quality ladies who would have made good wives to more deserving men. For disappointed women, including me, there is a need to stay focused with a nice goal and look forward for a better future. We are sitting at the edge of a better tomorrow, full of wonderful opportunities and attainable dreams. We should keep the light burning; our dreams will come true if we hold onto them. Like the apostle Pual, we should keep pressing toward the mark for the prize. God has reserved a crown of glory for His faithful servants. His eyes behold the activities of men, He watches mankind from a distance. We should remember that He has promised to supply all our needs-food, husband,or what have you-according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. I know that the best is yet to come because in Haggai 2:9 we read,"The glory of this later house shall be greater than the former, saith the Lord of hosts: and in this place will I give peace, saith the Lord of host."

THE PUSH AND PULL FACTORS(2)

When God delayed fulfilling the promise of a son to her, she manipulated the situation and asked Abraham to have a child by her maid, Hagar. We all know the story as told in chapter 16 of Moses's Genesis. As the insult from Hagar became too much for Sarah, she blamed it on Abraham. The effect of the manipulation temptation which Sarah succumbed to is still obvious between the descendants of Ishmael, Hagar's son, and those of Isaac, the child of promise. In her book, Efuru, Flora Nwapa stated that marriage is like picking a parcel from numerous parcels. If one is lucky, one picks a valuable parcel; it does not depend at all on the length of the courtship. While I agree with Flora, I would add that if a person is able to  pick one, the person should count himself or herself lucky because all humans are valuable. Some men and women have gone through life without being able to pick a partner.                                                                                                                                                 The Creator of the universe does not make mistakes; all one needs do is to look for and find the good He his somewhere in the person one picked. We should look beyond the present and envisage the future potentials of our spouses. The perfect individual is yet to be born. One cause of marital discord is what I will refer to as the "push factor." The Push factor starts developing in a man's head when he begins to under-rate the contributions of his spouse to the success of their relationship. He starts feeling that it is by his strength and intelligence that any progress they made over the years happened. He ignores the fact that even the peaceful home and moral support offered by a good housewife makes a great deal of difference in a man's growth and steady flow of income. Rather, with every problem that crops up, he starts imagining that he would have made it better with "Harriet" instead of "Joyce."

THE PUSH AND PULL FACTORS (1)

Nobody can claim a perfect problem-free or relationship. Not even our savior, Jesus Christ, could. He went through thick and thin to the work His Father sent Him to accomplish on earth. There were temptations,oppositions, rejections, and also acceptance. The same is true of our human lives, especially as married or not. Consequently, no family will claim immunity to life's challenges. If it is not one thing, people say, it's another. If it is not infertility, it is stubborn and/or physically challenged children; if it is not poverty, it is family chaos. In short, every human has a burden to bear in life. These burdens come with variations; rarely are they identical in size and shape. It does not, however, require the strength of a Samson nor the wisdom of a Solomon to maneuver through the work thorns and enjoy the roses.                                                                                                                              It only takes a sense of commitment and dedication to a cause one believes in-family. Consequently, when one is faced with a defined problem, the best escape is not to run away, but to accept it. Believe that He who allowed that problem to come our way will give us enough strength and courage to overcome it. If we accept ours in good faith, with total submission to the Supernatural Creator, we will have peace and a way of escape. By abandoning it to run elsewhere, one might end up facing more difficult challenges. This time the problem might be heavier because it is self-imposed. It is called manipulation temptation and it happened to sarah, the wife of Abraham.

SURVIVING AN ORDEAL (9)

Knowing the Lord and and taking to Him one-to-one, in a daughter-to-Father kind of way, the title of my book is taken in part from Psalm 91:1,"He that dwelleth in the secret  place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." The theme of  this Psalm in my  Bible is: "When life is uncertain, God is certain." I would summarize this portion of the Book of Psalm with the first couple of Verses from Psalm 90, the prayer of Moses, the man of God. And it says: "Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or even thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God."

SURVIVING AN ORDEAL (8)

A mistake is only a waste if one cannot learn from, and use the lesson to learned to better one's future. our God is a God of second chances . Even if one failed in one's plan. "A," one should ask for another chance and God will grant the request. If the Biblical Prodigal Son was warmly welcomed back by his human father, surly our merciful Heavenly Father will redirct our parts when we realize our mistakes and call on Him for help.                                     We have a merciful Father who is capable of making something beautiful of our lives. It is neither by might, nor by power, but by God's spirit and grace that we become whatever we are. With a clear knowledge of the God I serve, I constantly inquire of Him about His next step for me. I want Him to dwell in me and take absolute control of my entire system. As the eye of a maid looks unto my Maker until He shows me His mercy. As I wait for His guidance, I realize that I am open invitation to a future full of potentials, challenges, and motivations. I try as much as possible to listen to me and not to "then." Borrowing from Whitney Houston I would say:                                                                                                           if I succeed or fail, at least I have my dignity. I strongly believe that if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you are likely to get the best. There is yet time for happiness and love; let me just keep improving myself; no one is ever considered a loser unless the person quits trying. Our Father in Heaven has special purposes for each life on earth. All we need do is walk in His ways. When the time to cross the river comes, the boat will be there waiting. As we let our minds stay focused on Him, we are reassured that He will keep us in perfect peace.

SURVIVING AN ORDEAL(7)

Whenever a husband neglects his obligation to his extented family, the wife is always to blame. Frankly some women do not care what people say, but those of us who mind would rather take up our husband's obligation to his family and do it for him instead of hearing those uncomplimentary remarks. Believe you me, such an attitude rarely makes any difference. Quesera Sera"-what is to happen will eventually happen, irrespective of how one behaves or what one does. One satisfying consolation derived from being good is the guilty free feeling that "after all I did my best." The contrary is not as gratifying; one might wouder if, perhaps, things might have turned out differently accepted good-girl behavior.             These days I see things very differently,though, and I think differently, too. There are so many opportunities out there, so many possibilities, so much one can learn or do. Instead of looking at the past, I focus onto the future, exploring all I should do to reach my set goal. Right now, I am a process in making. God has worked wonders in my life already, but He is not yet done. I know that He who began this goodvwork in me will be faithful to complete it,and continue doing more until the day of Jesus Christ. And I firmly believe that His zeal in seeing to my welfare will not stop until He accomplishes all He promised me through His faithful servants.                                                                                                                I believe that no word of His goes back to Him void. He is the author and finisher of my faith. I keep reminding Him, Precious Lord, take my hand and lead me on, hear my call, hold me tight, less I fall. Though there have been moments without answers, yet every obstacle I encountered presented an opportunity for me to improve my condition. It is never too late for one to be what one might have been; time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.

SURVIVING AN ORDEAL (6)

The essential thing for us is to have a goal set. After one has defined one's goal, one should sit back and plan how to reach it. It is never too late to become anything. Just be determined. Do what ever it takes to reach your goal. The other day I was listening to a speech by the renowned American motivator, Led Brown, and he advised: "if after you have done all you can and it is still not enough, you must continue to do until. . . ." In other words, we must persevere. We should not give up at one- yard line. If one's plan is gigantic, taking it one step at a time is the best way to get it accomplished. Just apply "divide and conquer" method-inch by anthing is a cinch.                                                              When faced with a difficult situation, search for answers; for a way out or around it. Nancy Reagan in her book, My Turn, stated that what is boils down to is that each person has his or her own ways of coping with trauma and grief, with the pain of life. "Astronomy," She said, "was one of mine. I agree with Mrs.Reagan. Each of us has to devise at least one way of dealing positively with a stressful situation. If you have not already chosen one, find one right away before the next bout begins. With that you should be able to discover that ray of sunshine on a dark morning, the light at the end of the tunnel. Ask God to grant you the ability to look at the bright side of things if you think you do not have it. Disappointments should be used as learning experiences, as catalysts to trigger us into positive action.                                                                                                                                      Blaming oneself is not wise. Rather one should look forward and find out how the ugly experience can be used to shape one's best, whatever happens will eventually be for the best. Simply put, if God lets it happen, it must be for a good purpose in the long run. During trial moments we are inclined to cry, thinking that the end of the world for us has come. After all is said and done, and the dust settled down, watch out, sit back, and observe how our Father in heaven made something beautiful out of the ugly situation. It will happen; just do not despair, do not faint, only be in agreement with God's promise that all things work together for good. In effect, every obstacle in life presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.

SURVIVING AN ORDEAL (5)

When life's hard punches come our way, we ought to punch back. Refuse to be defeated. We all have reserved strength hidden within. Tap yours when you are faced with difficulties. Do not despair; do not give up. Find out who you are and mwhat you can do. You must struggle to restore your prestige and dignity. Surpass negative influences; learn to soar above them. We should remind ourselves that we can do anything through Christ, our strength. Critics should be ignored. One ought to set a standard for oneself with regard to what one needs and how one wishes to be treated.                                                                      In other words, we should determine what we can or cannot accept. And once we have so determined, we must maintain a principle that would not allow any one to treat us as less than our preferred ideal. Taking anything less than one's ideal diminishes one's self-esteem and ego. The fact that many people believe that a wrong thing is right does not make it so.we do not have to approve certain life styles because others condone them. It is okay to disagree with the general consensus.                                                                   We have to periodically remind ourselves that we are worthy, and deserve to be treated with respect. In Loving Each Other, Leo Buscaglia stated that we should keep examining the nature of each of our relationships for they are dynamic, not static, and therefore can change for better or worse. He is right; one has to, if one does not want to be taken by surprise.strong self- esteem is vital for facing challenges and taking risks. One should arm oneself with enough of it and then venture into the unknown and explore new opportunities, if one is unsatisfied with prevailing situations.

APC ACCUSED JONATHAN FOR SABOTAGE

The National chairman of the APC John Oyegun has accused heads of agencies appointed by former president Goodluck Jonathan of sabotaging the efforts of prisedent Muhammade Buhari. Oyegun stated this in an interview with State House Correspondants on Tuesday shortly after the leaders of the party met Buhati at the Aso Rock Presidential villa in Abuja. Oyegun said the internal sabotage was going on in many federal agencies currently headed by members of the people's Democratic Party (PDP) He also alleged that sabotage was happening in he independent National Commission (INEC) and other government institutions at the moment. President Buhari had sacked heads of 26 agercies and parastatals appointed by Jonathan.

SUIVIVING AN ORDEAL (4)

With similar confidence and strong faith in God we can call on Him to defend us when the problem seems larger than life. As we read that twentieth chapter of the second book of Chronicles, we see how God answered the king instantly with a promise. The next morning, the Israelites needed only believe God, sing praises to His Holy name and sit back and watch as their seemingly strong enemies were turned into heaps of corpses, with lots to loot. The battle is the Lord's; all we need do is remind Him of His promise, show up at the battle front, and claim our victory! It is our right as beliverers in the Lord to stand our ground in the face of problems and watch the Lord do it once again. One of my favorite hymns has the chorus: you have stilled the troubled water one more time. Simply cast your burdens on Jesus and He will take care of them. In times of hardship, He carries us on His mighty shoulders. His are the winds beneath our wings! It would not be helpful for us to indulge in self-pity because it brings no enduring comfort. Rather, it wears us down, giving deep concern to our well- wishers. When that self-pitying spirit sets in, favour for those who are less fortunate. Do it with the attitude that "I am because you are, you are because I am." We are here for each other. Doing good things for others is actually the rent we own to this world; it's spirits uplifting. One other way of boosting self-confidence is by reminding one-self periodically that one is doing better than good and better than one's past accomplishments, and smile with faithful anticipation for a brighter tomorrow. I love the song that says: Count your blessings, name them one by one, and you will be surprised at what the Lord has done. One secret to happiness is to look good at all times with uplifted countenance. In other words, one should take good care of oneself. We own it to ourselves, to God, and to our well- wishers to look our best each time. A friend of mine once remarKed that I was looking lovelier than ever. My reply: "I cannot afford to look otherwise." The more I take care of myself, the more I feel well taken care of. Just because a human being like me decided not to be with me is no excuse to look ragged. It would be disappointing to the Lord and a false testimony of how He is daily meeting my every need. The Lord is a friend who never fails.

SURVIVING AN ORDEAL (3)

All through His Holy Book,God gave us a lot of promises of how He will see us through any bad situation. He was the same God who, in the book of Exodus, led the children of Israel out of Egypt by making a way in the sea. In chapter three of the book of Daniel, we read how Meshach, Shadrach,and Abennego relied on Him and were saved from the overheated furnace. And in chapter six, hungry lions were turned into Daniel's play friends when he put his trust in the Most High. What He did for them then, He can do for us now because He is the same God, a God who never changes. Suffering is the yardstick with which our faith is measured and, fire."When the Furnace of addiction" are like gold tried in to be called His chosen ones. On numerous occasions,as sudden change of events for the worse seemed to intimidate me, I had claimed God's promise in Isaiah 41:13: "For I am the Lord, your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you." I refuse to look at my problems through the eyes of the spies whom Moses sent to survey the promised land. When they got there,even though the land was as rich as the Lord had promised, even though they saw how His mighty power had led them across the red Sea and drowned Pharaoh's army, yet ten of the twelve felt intimidated by the size of the inhabitants of the land-"giants" which made the Israelites seem like "grasshoppers" in comparison.(Numbers 13:33). Rather I borrow a leaf from 2Chronicles 20,where the faithful king Jehoshaphat of JUdah refused to fall for the grasshoppers disease. Instead, he reminded God that "power and might are in your hand and no one can withstand you." And he went on to ask God: "Did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Isreal and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?" Then king Jehoshaphat boldly claimed with a strong faith: "If calamity comes upon us... we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your name and will cry to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us."

SURVIVING AN ORDEAL (2)

  As God's children, we have been given the promise that trial moments are for a limited time. It is in Psalm 30:5:"Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoincing comes in the morning." It is up to us therefore, to claim our rights from our Father, especially during those difficult days. In other words, it's okay to cry and and griveve when in sorrow,but the griveving should not last too long. The Lord who sees our Pains will comfort us if we call on Him in truth and with faith. Nowhere in the Bible had God promised is immunity from sorrow, suffering, or pain.                                                                                                                    Rather He promised  to be with us every step of the way, as we go through trips and tribulations. Isaiah 43:2says:"When you pass through waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through rivers, they will not sweep over you. When youvwalk through fire you shall not be burned."The water and fire the prophet spoke about are the trials and tribulation that come our way as we journey through life. They can neither overwhelm nor overcome us, if we know how to quench those flaming arrows with the shield of the spirit, the Word of God.

SURVIVING AN ORDEAL (1)

In this day and age, disappointments are as inevitable as the air we breathe. Every mortal being is imperfect, and because of this imperfection, we should anticipate the possibility of some undesirable outcome in any human relationships we become involved in. It is like taking a risk in business dealings. If it turns out to be good,thank heavens; if otherwise, do not worry,many have gone through it before. One may never be the first nor the last to encounter any specific type of trials and tribulations one might come across in our journey through this "valley of tears." Ecclesiastics 3:15 puts it this way: That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath been already.                                                                             People have their ups and downs. People do things for reasons known sometimes to them and God only. The object of this is to share the story of how one can survive the most difficult moments of life. Since onbody goes through life without one form of trial or another, perhaps my experience and how I overcame it could be an inspiration to someone who reads these pages. If one person overcomes tremendous difficulties as a result of reading these pages, it would be wonderful because it is said that the angels rejoice when one sinner repents. Survival tactics were to rely heavily on the promises of God in the holy scriptures

MORAL OBLIGATIONS

     To become what one is capable of being is both a moral obligation and a moral privilege. However, individuals cannot effectively achieve this goal without freeing themselves of those psychological forces that inhibit, control, or distort their thoughts and actions. One of the hardest problems a woman faces is to express openly the difficulties she foresees in her relationships. There is this deep fear that such an expression may mean acknowledging, perpaps, that she made a mistake in her choice of a life partner, or worse still, admitting that she no longer believes in the choice she had made from numerous suitors.                                                                                                                              At a certain point in time, however, she has to come to grips with reality, muster up a lot of courage, and make a conscious decision as to whether or not she can condone the situation around her without damaging her health and self-esteem. With a growing understanding of the complexity of their situations, women have come to recognize the need of strong, healthly role models to inspire them and give them and the courage to act.         But this emotional growth women desire to achieve can only be sustained if societal institutions are restructured to reflect the change of the times. The majority of African men should admit, and consequently try to curb, their tendency to dominate, control, or expect women to take care of domestic concerns while they indulge in infantile behaviors. African women, on the other hand, must struggle to reduce the tendency to give too much and away in love: to abandon their needs, work, and friendships, and assume a care-taking role readily in order to sustain romance. They should look for a relationship where traditional romantic love has been transformed into romantic meeting of partners, so that the women can express herself without restraint and assert her needs without fear of loss of love or home.

BE FANATIC BOTH IN GOOD ANA BAD TIMES.(FOOD FOR THOUGHT)

     One day a local evangelist bragged during a crusade that his God was more able than all the others in the town and the powers of the universe that the villagers worshiped put together. Just then, rainstorm sounds started sounding overhead, threatening the powers of the crusade. The evangelist lifted up his voice and declared with confidence that if the rain  fell,them he wasn't a man of God, he would stop preaching!. Before he could finish this bluff, the rain began to hit the crusade ground so vehemently, apparently in disregard to his declarations. The whole town left the crusade ground to their houses, shaking their heads in disappointment and dismay.                                                                                               The evangelis, so distranght and angry, packed his belongings and left the town the next day on his way through the next town, he checked into a local drinking spot and drank himself to stupor. As he laid on the ground cursing God, an old seedy looking man tapped him gently on the shoulder "man of God", the old man began. But the evangelist quickly cut in, "don't mention the name of God to me. He is fake, He is unreliable. I am no longer a believer in this God. A God who chooses to disgrace his servants, leave me alone!. But the old man would not let him be. He continued", I am the fetish priest in the village you just preached at. During your one week stay in that village you destroyed all the charms I had made on the people for 45years. Your prayers and your words always came with some fearful fire and power. I tried so many times to eliminate you but could't.                      My last chance came yesterday. I had loaded my gun with gun powerder lying wait on the mountain top where I had a very clear view of you. My plan was to shot you from a distance since I couldn't get close enough to you due to the fire around you. But just when I lifted the gun, the rain came from nowhere, wetting my gun powerder and covering you in a cloud so that I could't even see you. All I saw was a bright man holding a sword in front of you. I was so terrified. I concluded that your God was  indeed all powerful and Almighty that is why I've been looking for you since then. Your God!                                                             The ex-evanglist bowed his head in shame! Dear friends, sometimes, it is just wise for us to believe that our father knows the way He is taking us. We should just trust wise for us to believe that our father knows the way He is taking us. We should just trust His leading, let our boast be in the Lord, not in ourselves. If we decree a thing and it doesn't happen, let us not see it as disappointment or dishonor from the Father. Let us just believe that the father wants his perfect will to be done in all things.

THE CHANGING FAMILY UNIT(8)THE END!!!!

    Depriving children of love, guidance, and role models in their formative years will have adverse consequences on them and, consequently, on the society. The products of broken homes will carry their scars first to the school system and then into other social institutions. This provides a challenge to educators, social workers,potutions. This police, the judiciary system, and finally the workplace. Social life is shaped by the type of family upbringing the individual received. Simply put, private life shapes public life, and vice versa.                                                                                                                                                 Which much has changed,the love of human beings remains the same.People do not flourish in isolation. Nobody is an island by himself. We need to live and be loved. In A Simple Path, Mother Teresa indicated that love has no meaning if it is not shared. That's why we require the family in this sense does not necessarily the immediate relatives. It means everyone who loves and cherishes us, and whom we love and cherish in return. A good church is a family of believers, a family of God's children, a family worth belonging to.

THE CHANGING FAMILY UNIT (7)

   The Lord is always faithful to His promises. Let us introduce our children to the Word of God early in life and leave the rest for the Almighty. I am blessed to see the younger children having a personal relationship with God. My heart always melts with joy when   they refer to God as their Father. "I will do what my father wants me to do,"Great is God's faithfulness.                                                                                                                              And when it comes to teaching the children, example is better than precepts a healthy home life is essential. Each spouse should treat the other with respect. Exhibiting respect for each other embraces a value system that our children will emulate. By speaking and acting respectfully toward one's spouse, one is telling the children, that there are words and deeds that are not acceptable. Each man,woman,or child among us deserves respect. When a parent's day to day activities differ from teachings he or she gives,doubt and confusion fill the child's imagination,making it hard for him or her to believe the parent or guardian. Children will remember how you said things long after they have forgotten what you said. Actions definitely speak louder than words. In most cases,the parent who deviates from the ideal finds it difficult to enforce the right way of living upon the child. Do as I say and not as I do does not go well in child upbringing-most children want to follow their parents' footprints.

THE CHANGING FAMILY UNIT(6)

  The school environment is not safe either. The momentum of destruction we see in our youths today can only be curbed when environmental abuses, such as parents who do not have time to be with them and sometimes leave them to fend for themselves at an early age,begin to change.                                                                                                                          Agreeably, our institutions, schools for example, can help in shaping the child, but the critical role a family plays in the shaping of a child's behavior can never be compromised. Children have to feel they are special right from home. Respect them as individuals, and they will reciprocate and, in addition, carry that lesson to the society. Proverbs 22:6:says: "Train a child in the way he should go,and when he is old he will not turn from it." How can the youth guide his way except the Lord intervenes?

THE CHANGING FAMILY UNIT (5)

    Nothing gives more joy and hope to a parent than seeing the children thrive in a healthy environment. They eagerly learn and are fascinated with what is going on around them. I remember how enriching and fulfilling it felt to watch your child developed happily and excel academically. Nurturing that curiosity and excitement in the young is gratifying, to say the least, and this is achieved through a healthy family life. Such a family life provides a kind of emotional and psychological energy that had a positive effect on survival. Mental health professionals will concur that the destructive behavior, the violence and crime that plague us as a nation today - drugs, alcohol abuse and the alienation of our youth-are directly related to the way they have been raised.

THE CHANGING FAMILY UNIT (4)

       Not until men and women take a deep breath and examine the parts they are playing in the disorganization of the traditional family lives will any of these nice suggestions for solving teenager pregnancies have a positive effect. A lot of these teenagers are lost. Sex has become the only way to fulfillment they know they use it as has become the only way to fulfilment they know and they use it as a substitute for the love they miss from parents who do not care. It is a way of escape from societal pressures that compounded the regular teenager stresses one goes through as one makes the transition from young to youth                                                                                                                                                  who is to blame? I suggest the parents in particular, and the society in general. We could equally add economic factors complicate the problems our teenagers face, but we should not forget that if dad and mom are glued together, the economic aspect will be minimized. The load is always lighter when shared.                                                                          A lot of are pretty distressed at the state of the family today. The fracturing of the family is at the heart of the problems faced by nations today. It is at the core of many of those ills that plague us today. These days we are focused on fulfillment through individualism, ignoring our obligations to our children. The quality of life is not even getting better.                                                                                                                                        While we all are profoundly affected by the weakened family, children are the hardest hit. Being helpless without alternatives, they become the most vulnerable among us. These are people who most desperately need to be loved and valued, if we want them to be useful to themselves and to society. Children who are not valued are resentful, violent,destructive, poorly motivated to learn,and have more serious emotional problems than others. This could lead to drug abuse and a host of other juvenile delinquencies. Let us therefore give them adequate love and a sense of self-worth because they are the lilies of the garden. Remember, a man can get another wife, and a woman another husband, but the children can never get a new set of biological parents.

THE CHANGING FAMILY UNITS (3)

Family norms refer to the behavioral expectations associated with the statues and roles of family members. Whereas values are attached to beliefs,norms are attached to,and directly guide, behavior. As norms guide our actions, they serve as cues to appropriate and inappropriate behaviours. Although basic family values have not changed dramatically, the norms if family behavior have undergone drastic transformations. In any culture, one is expected to take something from or give something to another with the right hand, whether one is left-handed or not. The right hand is the hand approved by our society for the proper exchanged of items. But these days,especially here in America, our children are getting away with using the left hand to accept things or give things to another, adult or young. And again, the patents and the adults seem to ignore this behavior that differs from our norm.                                                                                                                                        As a result of dramatic social forrces and events of recent decades such as increased sexual freedom, divorce and remarriage, out-of-wedlock births,you name it, a range of new family structures have emerged. Not only do these relationships exist, but they have grown in number, and have been accepted by large segments of society into the defination of "family."                                                                                                                                             Recently the welfare system in America that supports many single parents  was the topic for a while. Our political leaders were crying for reform. Some of them suggested orphanages for children of teenagers born out of wedlock, while others suggested setting a deadline for welfare recipients to get off the system. But when one delves into the family lives of these leaders that cry wolf, one finds out that they, too, are part of the problem. Many of them have divorced their wives and remarried; some of them messed around with younger girls. Thus their children may be among the confused teenagers and prospective candidates for future welfare and/or orphanage candidates. Where then is the solution?  

THE CHANGING FAMILY UNIT (2)

The family is,indeed, in the midst of institutional transformation. The hope for a new life level of stability lies with the young.our parents-the older generation are very concerned about the changes they see now,because they have witnessed significant disruptions in their traditional family roots. As members of the present generation,we are not as anxious about these changes as are our parents. After all,we are causing them. Our hope lies with the young,our children. Perhaps,by learning from our mistakes, they would strive to do better. With this hope, however,still comes an obvious concern because the next generation may not have the support it needs to guide its relationships. We are not providing good role models.                                                                                                          Everywhere one goes,one hears the family is in trouble. Educators complain they now do the job of physical care and emotional nurturing that belongs to the patents but is left undone at home.this is painful.                                                                                                           In the past, family roles were firmly defined. Expectations and qualilities looked for in a spouse were clear. Most women simply adopted the roles of their mothers and got the the cues for their behaviors from relatively well defined norms. So did the men from their fathers. No wonder the first question most people ask is, "From what family is your spouse?" We know that people change and not exact replicas of their forebears,but our people believe that there is a great chance for a snake to give birth to a creature that crawls.                                                                                                                                                 Today, the family processes are confused by conflicting and sometimes absent family norms. The rules if family behavior have changed. So drastic is this change in some areas that many parents and their children do not know each other's expectations of them nor their children do not know each other's expectations of themselves. How then will they know how to respond to those expectations? In our culture, a child is expected to say "Good morning" to his or her parents as well as the older siblings every day. These days the children pretend they forget and they are gradually getting away with it without the usual admonition that goes with such an oversight. With so many alternative cues to guide behaviors in Western Civilization, for example, confusion is more the rule than proper guidance towards expectations of family relationships

THE CHANGING FAMILY UNIT

Traditionally when we talk about family we refer to that social unit composed of a husband and wife and their children who are related by blood or adoption. In this connotation,the term sets the parameters for defining two sets of grandparents, uncles,aunts,cousin,and other relatives. And when we think of the purpose of family, we think of the nurturing of children,the teaching and transmission of traditions, values, responsibility for each other's welfare,and respect for each other's individuality.                                                                         in this day and age, however, the term "family" is being redefined. One school of thought defines the family unit as two or more persons who share resources, share responsibility for decisions, share values and goals,and have commitment to one another over time. This network of sharing and commitment, they argue,most accurately describes the family unit,regardless of blood,legal ties adoption, and marriage.                                                    Many argue, and I agree, that this type of redefinition of family demeans marriage.By this broad definition it means a family is to an individual what he or she wants it to mean. With this connotation, the family ceases to be the foundation unit of civilization and becomes just one among many choices of a way of life. It implies a family is any combination of individuals in almost any situation or setting. Such a loose definition might lead one to overlook the importance of a two-parent,heterosexual family- the traditional ideal.

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5 REASONS WHY JONATHAN CONCEDED TO BUHARI!!!

What a great a HERO!!!                                                                                                                  1: He did not want Nigeria to side into a theater of war,with his fellow country men and women dying and many more pouring into other nations in Africa and beyond as refugees because of the love for power.                                                                                                   2: He said because he believed that for a country to be great both the leaders and the led must be prepared to make sacrifices.                                                                                       3: he said because the tension in the land was abysmally high and palpable,in the months leading to the election. The country became more polansed more than ever before such that the gap between the North and the south and between the Christians and Muslims became quite pronounced.                                                                                                          4:because he had invested so much effort into building the nation. In Jonathan's words "I worked hard with my top officials to encourage Nigerians and Non-Nigerians to invest in our country to be able to provide jobs and improve the lives of our people.                         5: he said he made a promise to God that he will not let Nigeria fall under his watch, hence the historic telephone call he put through to congratulate his challenger even when the results were still being tached.                                                                                                      Thank you our hero!!!

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